my babies

Man, my babies aren't babies anymore. A couple of nights ago, I stayed up until 2am looking at old pics and movies of the kids. Dang, they were so cute. It's funny how they really haven't changed much since they were babies.

This one will be 4 in September! But, I'll always think of him as my baby. He definitely gets away with way more than Langston and Elise did at this age.

Kiefer was my smallest baby. A mere 6 pounds 15 ounces when he was born. He was the only one of my kids to have cradle cap, a really bad case of it at that. During his baths, I would put olive oil on his head and then rub off all the nasty, yellow flakes from his head. It took such a long time for it to clear. And, he had the worse case of exzema. On his face, of all places. He scratched and rubbed his face all the time. I had to keep newborn scratch mitts on him until he was like 4 months old. When he became mobile, he favorite places to go were in the kitchen. He loved to climb on top of the dishwasher door when it was open, he was always taking my pots and pans out from the cupboard and he would race to the refrigerator whenever someone opened the door.

The one thing that really struck me about Elise in her old videos was how much of a goof she was/is. I always think of Langston as being the goofy one but she's just as funny.

Elise will be 7 years old in December. She was a quiet baby. Well, I think most babies are quiet compared to Langston. Her Kindergarten teacher said that she challenged him to be a better teacher because she was his "hardest sell." Likewise, she has challenged me to be a better mother since the day she entered the world. I was alone with Elise the first night in the hospital. Giao went home to take care of Langston. That night, she cried and cried and could not fall asleep. Aren't newborns supposed to be sleepy? I looked at her and thought "you're different." Everything I learned from being a mom to Langston for 3 years did not apply to this girl. As a newborn, she hated to be held. She wiggled and squirmed in your arms. I was afraid to let people hold her, for fear she might cause them to drop her. Langston lived in my arms for the first 2 months of his life! She would get really grumpy when she was sleepy (nothing's changed) but hated being rocked or nursed to sleep. She would cry endlessly and could not settle herself. Sometimes it would take up to 45 minutes of nursing, rocking, holding a paci in her mouth, letting her cry then picking her up again, nursing, and letting her cry again, in order to get her to fall asleep. I remember yelling at my sweet 3-year old because he came upstairs to see what mommy was doing while I was in the middle of one of these exhausting and frustrating cycles of trying to get my 2-month old to sleep. I still feel guilty about that. Years later, I finally realized that Elise just needed to cry on some days. She needed that release. And, she's had to all the way through her preschool years. To top that, she hated being in the car. She would start crying as I belted her into the carseat. Then, she would cry for the ENTIRE car ride. I was convinced she got carsick. So, we turned her carseat around when she was about 9 months old, hoping that being forward facing would help. It helped a little. So, Elise wasn't my easiest baby. I will never forget what a woman told me at the checkout stand at Winco when Elise was 3 or 4 years old. We were talking about kids and she said "All my daughter did was cry for the first 8 years of her life but now she is such a wonderful daughter." That is so Elise.

Langston. My eldest, my first. He was such a sweet, sensitive, talkative, and happy baby. He's always been goofy and made goofy faces like this one.

He started babbling when he was 2 months old. Giao and I were so amused by it and since he was our first, we didn't know if it was "normal" for a baby to make so much noise. I think if I were to have another baby, I would want another Langston. He loved to be held. He loved to cuddle, which made bonding with him such an instant thing. At 9 years old, he'll still try and sit in our laps and if we could, he would probably let us carry him around. Don't let him know that I said that. But, it's so true.

After spending last Saturday with Giao's cousin, who is just 9 months old and one of the cutest babies I have ever seen, I started to get that motherly urge. I've always said I wanted four. I mentioned this to Giao and he instantly said "no." And, while I know it would be hard on us physically, emotionally and financially, I can't help but want another one. Who knows, it might happen one of these days, just not anytime soon.